It's not the internet. It's never the internet. It's you.
Layer 8 is the most common point of failure. Always has been.
TeeSticker
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The merch.
The lines that landed, printed on things you'll actually use. Punch at the behavior, never the person — and yes, the advice under each one is real.
> Drops are warming up. The list gets first dibs and launch pricing.
Password123! is not a password. It's a confession.
If it's on a sticky note, it's not a secret. Turn on a password manager.
TeeMug
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Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Clears stale state, RAM, and half your tickets. It's not a joke, it's triage.
MugSticker
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I can't fix the gap between the keyboard and the chair.
PEBKAC. Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. The classic, sells forever.
TeeHoodie
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Backups are like flossing. You lie about both.
An untested backup is a rumor. Restore it before you need it.
MugSticker
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I survived the migration.
Every sysadmin earns this one. Evergreen, clean, mug gold.
TeeMug
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Sudo make me a sandwich.
Without sudo it's just a request. With it, it's an order. Linux crowd knows.
TeeSticker
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Read. The. Error. Message.
The fix is usually in the text you just clicked past.
StickerMug
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Get first dibs.
Tell us where to send the launch. You also get the weekly line and the actually-useful version underneath.